"Cocktail" is arguably one of the best movies of the 1980s.

I own the cinematic gem on DVD and video cassette, but I can't bring myself to watch it any more. And although it pains me to do so, I've also shunned "Top Gun," "Risky Business" and "Jerry Maguire."

Thanks to TMZ, a media juggernaut that delivers up-to-the-minute celebrity sleaze, I know way too much about Tom Cruise's -- excuse me, TomKat's -- personal life.

The actor's couch-jumping exploits have forever tarnished his onscreen image.

Now, when I flip past a Cruise flick on cable, I don't see him as a bottle-juggling bartender, or a fighter pilot or a sports agent or a dancing machine in tighty-whities ... all I see is a crazy Scientologist who married that chick from "Dawson's Creek."

Many of my Hollywood idols have suffered the same fate, their films doomed to spend eternity collecting dust on my living room shelf: Winona Ryder (shoplifter), Mel Gibson (drunken driver), Robert Downey Jr. (heroin/cocaine addict) and "The Two Coreys" (drugs, alcohol, reality TV show).

When I was a teenager, I was obsessed with Hollywood royalty. I worked in a video store throughout high school and annoyed my friends by turning every conversation into a game of "Trivial Pursuit: Silver Screen Edition."

"Do any of you know who played the corpse in the opening scene of 'The Big Chill?' Anybody? He won the Oscar for Best Director in 1991. Oh, man, you guys are going to kick yourselves when you hear his name. Give up? It's Kevin Costner! Seriously. Director Lawrence Kasdan edited out his face in the final cut. So, who wants to play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? Anybody?"

These days, however, celebrities are more famous for breaking parole than box office records. I'm positive there were more photographers at Kiefer Sutherland's October court hearing than at his latest premiere. Stars should focus more on making quality films than tabloid headlines.

This Sunday marks the 80th annual Academy Awards telecast, but I won't be tuning in. I'm so jaded by Hollywood's bad behavior that I don't see new movies anymore, unless they feature zombies or unknown performers whose nasty reputations haven't preceded them.

I guess I'm like Tom Cruise's character in "A Few Good Men." I can't handle the truth.